How being enthusiastic can change your and your child’s life!
“With a special needs child, your worry never really goes away”, expressed a client of mine. This rings so true and understandably so. Saying to yourself things like:
- When is my child going to sit?
- Will my child ever be able to walk?
- When will my child start using words?
As you can imagine, focusing on these thoughts drains energy without our being aware of it. In addition, we could be missing all the beautiful things happening right before our eyes.
The simple action of a child sitting up independently entails a complex sequence of events. It begins with the child discovering their body and the world around them by rolling over. Later, pushing with the arms and kicking with the legs, they discover mobility on the tummy. When the child is strong enough to push up onto their hands and knees and figure out how to land on their buttocks, they discover sitting.
This sequence of movement and exploration provides the child the opportunity to learn to use their arms and legs in co-ordination with their trunk in varied and complex ways so that they can find mobility and balance in sitting, eventually. It is baby fitness training at its best. In the process, it also supports the building of problem solving and thinking skills as the child figures out how to get unstuck and achieve what they want. Providing your child with a supportive and safe environment to explore enables your child to discover and experience the numerous movement patterns that are crucial for building independence. It truly is a miracle when you think about it and when it’s automatic, we can take it for granted.
I encourage you to celebrate the process, every step of the way! Keep in mind that each small achievement is contributing to the next big achievement. When you’re able to notice the tiniest differences in your child’s movements, in the ways they use their hands for example, you’ll know and understand that your child is capable of learning. And as long as your child is learning new things, you know they’ll continue to progress along their developmental path with your help and support.
To be enthusiastic for your child’s success, you’ll first need to be a keen observer of differences. As part of my therapy process, I’m constantly helping the parents I work with notice the subtle changes their child is making during our sessions together. How would you know otherwise? We cannot celebrate something we didn’t notice, can we?
Practical Tools for You to Try
Sometimes, being enthusiastic means containing your joy quietly, especially when your child is doing something for the very FIRST time! Your child is ‘in the moment’ and having the most amazing kinaesthetic experience. You can see your child’s eyes light up as if they’ve just made the most amazing discovery. Being a parent myself, I understand why we want to cheer our child on with their accomplishments. But there is a very fine distinction between celebrating WITH them or distracting them from their own experiences. These sensory motor communications are crucial to your child being able to rediscover this new action, again and again.
For your child to be able to progress and make positive functional movement changes, they need your support. As parents or caregivers, you can assist your child to enrich their movement experiences, especially for things they cannot yet do by themselves. If your child is learning to roll over, roll with them whenever you can, in bed, on the floor, out in the open fields. Infuse in them the joy of rolling over. Make it slow and luxurious, especial if your child has vestibular challenges. Their facial expression will give a clue as to what they like and how you’re doing. If your child is developing balance in sitting, support them in different sitting positions. (Remember ‘variation’ from June’s issue?) Allow them to feel mobility in sitting within the safe and supportive environment you’re providing. How best to learn sitting than to fall over and come back up with your loving support. Make it a game of falling over and celebrate both success and failure with your child!
To be enthusiastic, you need to have flexible goals. Focus on the process more than the eventual outcome. Trust that the processes your child is experiencing with your help will accumulate and contribute to building blocks for future movements. Only your child can put them together in a way that works for them. The moment we try to dictate the right way of doing certain things, we limit our child’s experience and rob them of the much needed ‘movement ingredients’ that are crucial for their larger movement picture.
So, celebrate with your child all the big and small accomplishments to date! Moving forward, be the keenest observer you can be. Notice the subtlest and tiniest progress in your child’s movements and behaviours, and celebrate with them (quietly or loudly). This will change your and your child’s relationship and, indeed, your lives in ways that you cannot yet imagine!
Celebrating with you and for you.
