Never underestimate the beauty of the process that leads to eventual progress!
How can ‘slowing down’ speed up your child’s progress?
Has it ever occurred to you that we run around multi-tasking, trying to finish things up so that we’ll have more leisure time, only to later realize that we’ve made a mistake and will have to spend twice the amount of time undoing the mess we created when we were rushing.
At times, we eat our meals so quickly and our thoughts are so busy that we cannot fully appreciate the subtle flavours of our foods. Life on a fast track would seem efficient at first glance. It would seem logical that we could get more things done when we speed up. But the exact opposite is true when it comes to supporting your child’s development.
When we’re in a hurry, we’re less likely to pay attention to what we’re doing. We’re also more likely to miss the details. Slowing down provides the necessary response time for your child to process how they feel, both internally and on a physical and emotional level.
Slowing down allows you and your child to participate fully in the process, specifically your child’s individual process of Learning with Attentiveness (Remember our last issue?), discovering new ways to move, and developing new ideas.
As parents, we can provide such richness and spaciousness when we slow down our pace during the interactions with our child. Over time your child will learn to process information faster and faster, evolving into the ‘effective learners’ they’re meant to be.
Practical Tools for You to Consider and Use
‘Be’ with your child
Find 10 minutes each day to just be with your child. Turn off cell phones, computers and TVs. Put away your book and forget about the chores. Just be there with your child and for your child, on the rug, on the bed or on the sofa. Have no agenda for the next 10 minutes or so; just let feelings of ‘slow’ pervade you and your child’s experience. While making sure that your child is safe, let him or her just be with you, let your child be the leader and follow any cues or clues they may give. If your child wants to wander around, simply let them and just be there. If your child wants to snuggle or play, just be there for them. Be there with your child, just the two of you. This exercise might seem challenging at first, but you’ll soon discover how pleasurable and easy it is to do.
Observe without judgement
As you slow down when interacting with your child, you will have the opportunity to notice things about your child’s response to you that you may have never noticed before. When you observe your child without comparing him or her to anyone else and without trying to change them, you’ll be better able to gauge your child’s reactions to what your are doing with them. You can do this when feeding your child, helping them with their homework, giving your child a bath, or doing any other activity with your child. You’ll notice more about their response to the world around them. This information will enlighten you and help you become better attuned with your child. The more you become ‘in tune’ with your child, the more they will benefit from their interactions with you. The more your child becomes attuned to you, the more the trust builds between you. A beneficial two-way street.
Slow Listening
One of the most important human needs is to be seen and to feel that we are heard and validated. Children with special challenges often have difficulty making themselves and their experiences understood. Your child needs you to be an especially capable listener. ‘Slow Listening’, listening not just to your child’s words but also to their communication through their sounds, movements, inflections, facial expressions, body language, and all other forms of expression. This can help you to do just that. Slow yourself down and quiet any internal chatter, take a few slow deep breaths and shift your attention to your child. You are now in a much better position to understand what your child is trying to communicate to you. Slow listening helps you connect with your child, allowing them to be better seen and heard.
Slow – one of the 9 essentials of the Anat Baniel Method – will amplify your child’s experiences, as well as your own, helping your child notice what is going on and providing them with opportunities to create new solutions. Your child will experience immediate changes and transformations, and even if they do not appear to be ‘full success’ right away, each of these changes will move your child towards their future success.
Note: Adapted from “Kids Beyond Limits” by Anat Baniel, Pg 90-93.
QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO PONDER:
- When was the last time I slowly enjoyed a meal?
- Which areas of my life would benefit from slowing down?
- How would ‘slowing down’ at work improve my productivity?
Now it’s up to you to engage yourself in this process.
