As parents, we want to make sure our children get on well with life.
We try our best to teach them based on what we have learned from our own experiences. Certain life lessons that have proven to be helpful for us.
We have good intentions as parents. We also understand, that like ourselves, our children are going to have their own unique and individual experiences in life.
Are the lessons we have learned always applicable for our children? I would challenge you in saying that the answer is: No.
In my career working with hundreds of children, I have witnessed many real life examples of teaching that has gone off track.
One example of this is toilet training.
Often times, out of our own anxiety, we want to make sure that our children use the toilet before heading out the door, before leaving the restaurant and before leaving for the playground, etc. You get the idea.
We encourage our children to use the bathroom, sometimes before they have a real need to empty their bladder.
Without being aware of it, we are inadvertently training our children to not listen to their bodies.
Over time, when this pattern of frequently emptying their bladders becomes a habit, we are also training their little bodies to sense an urge for urination well before there is a real physiological need to do so.
To the contrary, when we support our children to listen to their bodies, they will know when they really need to go. And they will also have the opportunity to learn to hold it until a bathroom is available.
One of the many important life skills is to learn to adjust to changing circumstances and being flexible. We can definitely train our bladders. After all, our bladders are made up of muscles and could benefit from a bit of stretching every now and then!
So the next time when you feel the urge to make your child go to the bathroom, pause for a moment.
Is it your anxiety driving you or that nagging feeling of the inconvenience involved in finding a washroom when your child needs to go?
Maybe, as parents, we can all learn to trust our children a little bit more and know that somehow everything is going to turn out all right.
It might just be another learning opportunity both for you and for your child!
